Erotic games! This is not an easy topic to address in all couples. Our nature often leads us to fear the gaze of the other, or to be afraid of being judged.
Here are our little tips for broaching the subject of erotic games and BDSM with your partners…
Compliment them when they try something new
You can slip in little messages when your partner has attempted an act that is out of the ordinary and that you appreciated. Such as: "I really liked it when you spanked me earlier". Hearing that you did something they enjoyed is always nice. You'll see, the message will get through and watch out for your bottom next time ;-)
Suggest light and non-intimidating practices
For a novice partner, it is best to start with simple and non-intimidating practices. For example, using a blindfold to deprive sight, or caressing with a feather, can introduce BDSM while remaining within a sensual and reassuring framework. For the next step, we recommend the Rigid copper aluminium handcuffs MAISON POLISONNE their soft and cute style is perfectly suited for the curious.
And who knows, maybe one day you will hear the whistle of the whip in your ears…
Demystifying erotic games and BDSM
It is important to explain that BDSM is not limited to extreme practices; it also encompasses more subtle and playful games, while emphasising consent and mutual respect. This gentle approach helps to defuse fears and preconceived notions surrounding BDSM.
BDSM can create very strong bonds, sometimes much more intimate than a penetrative sexual relationship.
Ideal for people with erection difficulties, vaginismus and other factors disrupting penetrative practices!
During my time as a single man, I experienced erection difficulties with certain partners. The stress of newness, the pressure of performance, the moment when you have to put on the condom... a perfect cocktail for losing confidence in myself - and for losing the erection that goes with it.
The practice of bondage was a real revelation. I regained control, I gave pleasure to my partner through touch, the deprivation of certain senses - by blindfolding her, for example - or through the imagination created by the sounds of chains or simple caresses. All of this without any act of penetration.
My erections were then free to come... or not to come. And despite that, every moment remained exceptional.
Feel free to draw inspiration from this testimony, to ask us your questions, or even to come and discuss it with us over a drink in Paris.
Open and supportive discussion
One way to broach the subject of erotic games is to talk about your own desires and curiosities regarding sexuality. Your partner probably has desires they are hesitant to bring up with you as well. By opening up, you will help them feel more confident. This will likely free their speech, and you may discover shared desires.
The aesthetic approach
To reassure a partner, it can be helpful to start with accessories that are not too visually impressive. At MAISON POLISSONNE, the accessories are designed in pastel tones and pleasant materials, allowing for a softer and more aesthetic approach to BDSM. Suggesting to try together a pair of soft leather handcuffs or Customisable leather collarcan be a subtle way to integrate elements of domination/submission gently.
A friend once told us, your Maison Polissonne whip, I absolutely need it above my fireplace!" I personally can't wait for her to have a fireplace…
Watching explanatory content together
Another method is to watch documentaries or educational videos about BDSM together. There are many resources that explain the principles of this practice, including consent, communication, and safety. By discovering this information together, the novice partner can become familiar with the concept and better understand the different facets of BDSM, which can facilitate their willingness to explore certain practices. I highly recommend the Instagram account ROPE.IN.PARIS to discover how shibari can be soft and aesthetic; you will see that Elisa is super pretty.
Emphasising play and sensory exploration
For a partner who may be intimidated by BDSM, it is important to approach it as a game. By explaining that BDSM can be a space for playful exploration, where one enjoys discovering each other's sensations, reactions, and emotions, the practice becomes more accessible. Light role play - for example, embodying characters simply for fun - can also be a way to approach BDSM without the connotation of pain or intense domination.
Establishing boundaries and safe words
From the very beginning of the conversation, it is important to reassure your partner by explaining the concept of safe words and clear boundaries. A safe word is a word chosen together that, when spoken, immediately stops the act because a limit has been reached. This shows that you are taking into account each other's emotions and comfort, and that any exploration remains reversible. Also promise to never take offence at a refusal. If your partner stops or redirects you, it is solely to enhance their pleasure - this is a positive thing.
If you have any doubts or questions, do not hesitate to Contact us. We may not have all the answers, but we will be happy to share our opinion.
And if you need a bit of cheeky inspiration, come read our Naughty Stories !